In the capital of Europe for a few days? Here is my selection of expat and local bars where you wil  be able to cheer and move your body every day.

Monday  – TD
Monday night is the night when only the students can afford not to sleep. Head to the student area called Cimetière d’Ixelles. Yes Cimetière means cemetery but don’t worry, the area is very lively!

Choose between the always trendy Tavernier or L’Atelier and his blackboard full of tasteful beers or the typically Belgian Le Montmartre.

If you are still a student, put on dirty clothes and old shoes and go to the TD which literally means Thé Dansant. You will not find any tea, but rather beer that you will drink of course, but also that you will find yourself covered with when going out of the TD. The tradition in these student parties is to throw to end of your beer… on the dancing crowd.

 Tuesday – Stay calm

Still too early in the week to explode the breath test? Grab a beer or a nice cocktail on the terrace of the Belga on Place Flagey or the Maison du Peuple  or Bar du Matin in Saint-Gilles. They have the same (now very rich) owner!

Enjoyed the TD yesterday? Go back, it’s on every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday! And the beer is only at 1€.

Wednesday – Loft vs Place du Châtelain

The week-end is approaching and the trendiest of you will go at the Place du Châtelain to drink a nice glass of wine at the end of the market whilst the others will enjoy the happy hour between 6 and 8PM with Eurocrats at the Loft near Porte de Namur.

Thursday – Pluxing

It’s finally jeudredi! Mix of jeudi (Thursday) and vendredi (Friday). The MEPs have gone back home and it’s time for their assistants to go crazy on Place du Luxembourg. The police closes half of the square in front of the European Parliament to let the Eurobubble explose.
Tips galore: happy hour at Grapevine between 6.00 and 7.00, cheapest mojitos (5€) at Ralph’s (outside only), grab a healthy snack at Mer du Nord or a non healthy one at the Polish kebab on Rue de Trèves.

Friday  – Délirium & co

It’s time for you to go to the unmissable Impasse de la Fidelité, a small street off the Rue des Bouchers. Choose the Delirium Tavern for flavoured shots, the Floris for giant mojitos ) and absinthes  or the famous Delirium to get lost among the 2000 beers featured in the menu. Don’t worry … you can test them all, bars are open until dawn!

Don’t want to be surrounded by your fellow tourists? Enjoy Belgian beers at the traditional Mort Subite or the well hidden La Bécasse, organic beers at the Moeder Lambic or even Irish beers at the Porte Noire.

Saturday – Dancing bars

Start your Saturday night in one (or more) of the bars on Place Saint-Géry: Zebra, Mappa Mundo (maybe a bit too noisy upstairs), Le Roi des Belges, Café central… Pick any of them and your Saturday night will be successful!

You want to go out to dance but not in the mood to go clubbing? Move your body on the tables of the Corbeau (if you go before midnight, it will look like a random bar but don’t be fool…), with the Flemish youth of the Bonnefooi or stuck to another tourist/expat on t on the upstairs floor of the Celtica (only girls? Wouldn’t advise you to go here) or Mezzo.

You fell in love with a charming Belgian girl or guy? Goupil Le Fol is the ideal place for a date. Cuddle your new beloved one in the torn sofas of this former brothel (yep really) whilst drinking a fruit wine and listening to old French songs.

Gay Sunday

The Sunday night is dedicated to the gay crowd in Brussels. You will find plenty of bars in Rue du Marché au Charbon and Place Fontainas: choose Boys boudoir to dance, the Fontainas to sit down quietly but Le Baroque  if you are more into bears!

Finish your night at Chez Maman, a tiny venue where transvestites sing their favourite Britney Spears songs. Girls, let’s be clear, it will be difficult for you to get in without gay male friends!